Monday P.M.’s are for cute vids!

Boy howdy do I have a surprise for you.  We all know that little orange kittens are cute, and that tiny hats are cute, but what…if…someone…

…COMBINED THEM?

I present to you an ever-so-tiny kitten wearing an ever-so-tiny sunhat.  YOU WILL MELT!

(Warning: don’t watch this at work, I still haven’t pulled myself together yet.  I had to have a meeting with my boss with my swollen eyes and tear-stained cheeks!)

And the best distro is…Mac OS X!

The ultimate Linux distro

Linux enthusiasts everywhere are celebrating the latest findings from CNET on the best distros (distributions) for desktops, servers, and gaming–and the results may surprise you.

The study compares Slackware, Ubuntu, Gentoo, FreeBSD, Debian, and Fedora, running them through a series of performance and usability tests designed to simulate real-world usage and achieve the first-ever empirical comparison of the various options available to the non-professional.

And the winner?  Mac OS X.

Though it is not commonly known by its user base, OS X really is a bona fide Linux distribution, with the largest install base worldwide and the support of the Apple Corporation behind it.  And for a good reason, too: OS X simply crushed the competition in every possible category, with the sole exception of hardware compatibility, where it ranked just behind Gentoo.

These findings  also prompted testers to include Windows 7, which fared miserably in all tests, coming in just ahead of Slackware in the final ranking–excelling only in system uptime.

“If you want to create a cluster or something like that, you should probably look to openSUSE or Ubuntu, but for straight-ahead performance, for a normal user, you can’t beat OS X,” writes Alex Mason, senior staff editor at CNET. “I use it for everything from the GIMP to Koules and all the applications in between.  I just wish I could get Enlightenment working on it.”

 

Hooray…another Duggar!

The glow of relentless reproduction.

My favorite family is back in the spotlight today as Michelle Duggar announced on the Today show that she is going to have another baby.

I know that there are a lot of people who claim this is an obsession, that it’s unhealthy, that Jim Bob is trying to kill his wife by tearing her uterus apart or whatever–but the beauty and joy of a Christian family welcoming a new member cannot be denied.

As long as they can afford to have them, I say God bless the Duggars.  The Bible has said to go forth and multiply, and multiply they have done.  It would behoove many of us to follow the words of the Lord with such abandon, in our own lives.

Quit crying, Connecticut

NBD.

With only a few homes still without power in Connecticut, only one question remains:  when will the residents of this mollycoddled little state stop crying?

“I’m sorry you can’t get on Facebook with your little iPads,” reads one apology after another from the much-beset Connecticut Light and Power Company.  ”We have done amazingly well under the circumstances.”

And truer words have never been spoken.  Only eight days after a huge nor’easter hit the state, only 7% of CL&P customers are still without power.  With great weather and a number of shelters available for the one or two households in that 7%, the impact of the storm at this point seems to be minimal.

A vocal minority of residents seem to be blaming Jeff Butler, COO of Connecticut Light and Power, for what they regard as a failure to handle this historic storm.  However, we at Outkube would like to congratulate the company on a fine job well done, and extend an offer of employment to the beleaguered COO if he should like to move up to the exalted position he clearly deserves.

Strap it on, Connecticut!  Burn some of your extra cash if you need to keep warm.  The nation is tired of your bitching.

Outkube endorses Herman Cain for the Republican nomination

Leadership.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

WEST HARTFORD, CT – Following a long tradition of excellence in supporting the very best in American politics, Outkube.com today announces our official endorsement of Senator Herman Cain for the Republican nomination to the office of the President of the United States.

His strengths as a candidate are numerous, but we are encouraged by his firm stance against abortion, his commitment to national security, and his call for stricter enforcement of immigration law. His political background may not be as strong as the rest of the field, but his business background far exceeds that of the other candidates, as evidenced by his 9-9-9 plan.

While our endorsement is unequivocal, we do recommend that Mr. Cain clarify his positions on gun control and the declaration of English as the offical language of the United States, as well as his ideas for improvement of the lackluster U.S. public education system, so that other publications can follow suit. We welcome any questions or comments about this endorsement at our website, www.outkube.com.

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Founded in 2011, outkube.com is a nonpartisan weblog promoting rational and progressive political and social discussion.  For additional information, please visit http://www.outkube.com.

Death penalty? More like awesome penalty!

It’s not really worth arguing about the death penalty, as the Bible itself lends all the support you need.  Kill somebody, get killed, it seems reasonable.  I don’t think at this point that anyone really disagrees with the death penalty.

Where a lot of us seem to disagree is with the actual carrying out of the death penalty; as a society we’ve sort of moved “past” hanging, the firing squad, ol’ Sparky, the gas chamber…to the current method, where we inject you with some sleepytime tea and the next thing you know you’ve drifted off gently into the land of Nod.

I don’t know about you, but if some big Polish guy just murdered my entire family and ate my sister, I’d want there to be a little more zing in the sendoff.  A little more theater.  I’m not advocating torture, but we aren’t euthanizing a loved and suffering family pet here, we’re executing a menace to our way of life.  I don’t care if it’s the electric chair, hanging, or firing squad…it’s time to start executing criminals like we’re trying to sell tickets.  This lethal injection is lethal all right–lethally boring!

I’m so over poor people.

God, enough already.

I’m a pretty upbeat person, but there’s one thing that really gets me down: poor people.  Obviously it must be boring and horrible to be poor, but for some reason they seem intent on inflicting that on all the rest of us.  The clear solution, which plainly misses basically every poor person there is, is to get a well-paying job, yet they persist on not doing that.

Meanwhile, those of us who are not poor are left holding the bag, as most government-funded programs are designed to address the “needs” of our nation’s poor, leaving them apparently with sufficient surplus income to purchase cable, computers, smartphones, and cars.

In the spirit of giving and in hopes of turning around a life or two, here are some pointers for poor people that should help them get started on the right track:

  • Consider moving to a different country.  This would have the simultaneous benefit of increasing the average income in the U.S., and also allowing you to cash in your 401(k) and use it to buy a house, as the American dollar goes farther in other countries.
  • Get a better job.  If the job you have now doesn’t pay you as much money as you’d like, just get a different job that does.  If you like the job you have, just ask your boss for a raise!
  • Have fewer children.  Children cost like a half a million dollars each when all is said and done, so if you have fewer of them you can stretch that family dollar even more.
  • Make sure you have health insurance!  Doctor visits add up pretty quickly, so make sure you pick up health insurance to bring those costs down.  And finally:
  • Cheer up!  I know it’s stupid and boring to be poor, but would it kill you to put a smile on?  :)

Country music: just stop it.

Toby Keith

Not a real cowboy.

There’s a sort of horrible dead zone on my radio dial that has like three country stations in it. There’s nothing worse when you’re driving and sipping a nice coffee than running into a country station. It just completely ruins the drive and probably the whole morning as well.

There are some genres of music that I have a problem with but which have one or two artists that I can stand. (Reggaeton is sort of an obvious exception that I probably don’t even need to mention.) Country music, however, has exactly zero artists that I enjoy. The fake accent, the big stupid hats, the lack of talent, the weird embroidered shirts–all of it, everything, makes my stomach turn. The very hint of a pedal steel guitar induces debilitating waves of nausea that I have to pull the car over to handle.

One thing is absolutely clear: for our nation to move forward and be competitive in the global space, the first thing that has to go is the celebration of ignorance and racism which is country music.

Abortions: are you into them?

Purely hypothetically speaking, let’s say I’m a little late.  I don’t want to panic, but it’s important to be prepared for any eventuality, including knowing how to handle an unplanned pregnancy.  I could use your help in making this decision, so in the spirit of open discourse and respect that we have here for each other, I need to ask you all a somewhat personal question:  are you into abortions?

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Your student loan debt is not my problem

Obama, explaining how your student loans are going to be my problem from now on.

I just keep reading article after article about these OWS protesters and their crazy demands, thinking “thank God the winter’s coming,” and then what happens?  The white house feeds the trolls.

This is unbelievable.  Hijack a plane and demand $50,000, you’ll get nothing; hijack a city with a bunch of your potsmoking friends and demand $200,000 each, and you’ll get a warm welcome from the president and a promise to make everything all better.  That’s the message, folks.

Here’s my message: if you (1)  borrow money from me, (2) decide you can’t pay it, (3) camp out on my property,  (4) piss all over my lawn while smoking grass and doing sex and playing the drums like a savage, and (5) demand I not make you pay, guess what I’m going to do?  I’m going to make you pay anyway, pay the interest rate I should have charged you in the first place, and pay for the army I get to make sure you pay.  That’s what I’ll do!